August 9, 2013

blogging is healing.

Blogging has always been a healing place for me...and this past week I have neglected it and have definitely noticed the effects that it has had on my life.  A lot has let me fill you in.  

I have been attending a different church. When I was living in southeastern North Carolina I started attending a Baptist church regularly and absolutely loved it.  The pastor was great, the service was great, and so were the people. One of the hardest things when I moved was to leave that church. When I moved back to Raleigh I knew I needed to find something similar. That Baptist church made me happy and I felt like I was really encouraged to dive into the Word.  I didn't feel like I was in a class...I felt part of a discussion and support group.  It was extremely encouraging.  

So...I began searching and tried out several different churches. I have finally found one that I really enjoy and have been going to a Sunday school class with people that are my age. I love it and have met some really nice people. There are several transitions happening to the people in my class and one of them mentioned that they had a long- haired dachshund mix that needed a home.  I gave the girls my number and mentioned that I was interested...after all, I have been looking for a dog for over a year and this was one of the breeds I was interested in.  I went and visited this sweet dog and fell in love with her.  Long story short...I took her home the next night and had her for the evening.  

I walked her around the apartment complex that evening to see how she acted around other dogs and noticed that she was really skittish around larger dogs.  Since my future roommate's dog is a large boxer, it made me really nervous. This sweet girl kept hiding behind my legs and it scared me a little for her.  After a great night with her, I felt in my heart that it wouldn't be right to keep her because I didn't want her to live in fear.  It was hard giving her up...but she deserved someone better than me.  She is currently back with her original owner and is still looking for a home.  

I had so many mixed emotions on Thursday when I took her back to her original owner.  She looked so sad when I left her and it really tore at my heart. Coming home without a happy puppy in my house is sad, but I know long term I did what was right... it doesn't make it any easier though . Taking her back to her owner made me feel like a failure...I have grown up with animals my whole life and love them.  BUT, giving her back was the right thing for her and I just need to keep reminding myself that.  

Overall...its just been an emotional week and I couldn't be more appreciative that it is the weekend.  I need some time to heal, some time with the Lord, and a little bit of time to realize that everything is going to be okay.