February 19, 2011

this is the first day of the rest of your life.

Life. It has been different these past few months, that's for sure.  The past few years of my life have been completely surrounded by the National FFA Organization....I did nothing but breathe and live the FFA each and every day.  In October, I ran for National FFA Office, was not elected, and now am in this position of...what do I do; not so much with my life, but with my time?  I am doing pretty well keeping it occupied with this thing called academics and being a resident advisor, but each and every day I thirst for something to keep me sane.  I need something that I can call my own again.  I need something to give me the energy to make it through the day. I need something that gives me lasting friendships. I need something that will fulfill the happiness that once was in my heart. 

Even though I am still feeling the emptiness of the FFA within my heart and the search for something new is an everyday task, I have finally found something that I can really see myself enjoying for the rest of my life.  I love being in agriculture education, especially now that I am learning more and more new things about the animal industry,but I have fallen in love with figuring out people and why they do the things they do. After much prayer, God has lead me to the possibility of school counseling, in other words, working as a guidance counselor in a elementary, middle, or high school. I love the idea of this career, but I also know that my heart is still in agriculture and will always be.  I love the family atmosphere that agriculture creates, and the thought of not being part of the agriculture education family scares me.  I am so comfortable there; my friends are there and the FFA; those are the only things that I have known since I moved to North Carolina. It is so hard to step out of our comfort zones sometimes....

Amidst all of this contemplation in my mind and change in my life, I have found someone that makes me feel so much better about the life I am living now...No matter how good or how badly the day ends, he takes the time to listen, question, and understand me each and every day. I look at him, hear his voice, and know that he is the one that makes my life complete... he gives me hope to make it to the next day. Sometimes, fairy tales do come true.  I know mine has.

Alive again...that is what I desire...but until that point

love will hold us together