April 11, 2011

gonna put the world away for a minute

Today, out of all days, I just wanna put the world away for a minute. 

There are just those days where you don't want to be available...where you just want to be alone because you've just had a bad day or you just want to relax. It happens to be one of those days.  I just want to sit back and think...think about life, think about the weeks ahead, think about today.

I have a Livestock Evaluation exam tomorrow, but truthfully, I'm tired of it.  I thought this class would be enjoyable, but I think I am just going to cross it off as one of those "worthless" classes that I have to take.  This class has so much potential, but unfortunately, I just can't seem to absorb the information.  Makes me really think if I was meant to teach animal science in a school classroom....just a thought.

Today, I wish I was just "knee deep" in something other than school.  Doesn't necessarily have to be the ocean like in the song by Zac Brown Band, but I need someplace to escape to.  The best days of my life were spent with my horse at the barn or out in a barn mucking stalls.  I just love that atmosphere...being by yourself, thinking about the day, and relaxing to music.  Sounds weird, I know; but, to most people that have grown up around livestock, there is so much comfort in knowing that you have a place to just escape.

Being in Raleigh has made this concept very difficult and has been replaced (to some extent) with trips to Lake Johnson and Yates Mill Park, but that doesn't fill that void of agriculture and working with animals.  Only if I still had those opportunities....

April 3, 2011

a little bit stronger....

Everyone knows....ever since last October I have really struggled with life.  For those of you that know me really well, you know that my life operates by my Franklin Covey planner and the new addition of my Google calendar, so when plans get messed up and I have to white out parts of my life...I don't do so well.  I write in pencil for things that are a maybe and pen for things that are a definite....let's just say I wrote too much in pen and God decided that my life needed to be written in pencil more often. In addition, He has also showed me in the past few weeks that I needed to learn how to use white out.  So, in other words, my planner is a MESS!  Take a look....
 Ok...well, you cannot see the white out, but just so you know, IT IS ALL OVER this month's calendar.  Nothing drives me more crazy than that, but once again, I think God really does have a plan for me.  He always does.  For example, when I wasn't elected in October to National FFA Office, I was upset, but God showed me the true meaning of family.  My grandmother was diagnosed with a brain tumor, but it really has brought my family closer together. We spend more time in conversation, call more often, and send letters more frequently....that was God's plan and it had a meaning.  Most recently, I have been turned down for three summer jobs which is really disheartening to me.  I still have one application open for a summer resident advisor position at the School of American Ballet in New York City; maybe, just maybe, something will come out of that.  Who knows, God might want me to hang up my wranglers and leave my cowboy boots in North Carolina to explore the big city.  It is scary to think that this little country girl might be in a big city...but once again, God will provide. He always does and always will.

I was working on some cards/letters to send out this week when Sarah Evans' new song "A Little Bit Stronger" came on my Pandora station.   I immediately stopped and listened to it because it really struck a chord with me...I am not going through a breakup (thank heavens!), but I am going through a tough time in my life. 

I have no goals right now, I have no vision for my life, and truthfully, I don't know what I am going to do tomorrow...but I am slowly accepting that life isn't always planned out to the "T".  I am still a little shaky with God making me use white out and writing in pencil, but starting this week, I am going to get a little bit stronger.

I am going to develop some goals, update my bucket list, and become closer to God through prayer and devotion.

I am going to get a little bit stronger.


March 19, 2011

Update on my life...

So, this past week you may have seen several of my facebook statuses mentioning things like "need  lots of prayers today...please" and "could use a few prayers today".  Well, I only feel it is fair for all of you to know what is going on, so please take some time to read this and pray for my grandmother for a while.  Back in November, my grandmother was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  As soon as we heard this, my family drove up to Michigan to be with her and the rest of the family as she underwent surgery.  She came out of surgery successfully and has been doing well until recently.  My grandparents decided to come to North Carolina to visit and while they were here, my grandmother was not acting herself.  My mother and father decided to take her to the hospital to get checked out; while she was there, they transferred her to a different hospital.  According to the nurses and doctors, there has been some swelling in her brain that is causing her to act more strangely than usual and right now they are trying to reduce the swelling with steroids. So far, that is all we know about her and I will be sure to keep you updated.

The sad part of this whole situation is that I am working this weekend in the residence halls, so in other words, I am on duty/on-call the whole weekend and will not be able to see her.  I mean, if something bad truly happens, I will be sure to find someone to take my shift, but until that point I will be here. If she has to stay in the hospital for a while (I pray that she doesn't), I will be able to visit her more often because she is in a hospital extremely close to campus...I guess there are perks to living in Raleigh.

So, in other words, I am worried...who wouldn't be worried about their grandmother?  All I am asking of you are lots of prayers.  Tomorrow, when you go to church, pray for her; before you eat, pray for her; before you go to bed; pray for her....I think you get the point.  I fully believe the power of prayer heals all!

Until then......
{ love will hold us together }

March 16, 2011

missing the country....

Today was beautiful...ok, so the weather was a bit shaky, but it was so perfect because I had the opportunity to go home for a short little while. I haven't been home in quite a while because the RA job tends to keep me at school more than I would like, but I think it is the job that makes me enjoy home that much more.  I don't hate my job, as a matter of fact, I actually really do love it. It is always a challenge, something new and amusing, and it is great getting to know so many people across campus here at NC State.  There is nothing better than walking around, seeing one of your residents that you consider a great friend and just saying "hey" to each other in passing.  Each and every one of my residents has been a blessing to my life...they just make me smile :) Back to my original story...I had to go home today to pick up a gift basket my family's feed store had made for the NC State Agri-life Ball.  It was a cute little dog themed basket with treats, toys, and an NC State dog leash...so fun. I cannot wait to take it to our meeting tomorrow night. I spent some time at the feed store, which is always fun. This is one of the best times of the year because we are getting 350 chickens weekly, getting in new plants each and every day, and there are so many people excited for the nice weather so they can get their garden going.  Even though I get sick of it sometimes, mostly because I have spent my whole life there, I love going back there and socializing with the regular customers.  It is just a breath of fresh air to be back in the little town of Pittsboro.

I went home to drop some things off, raid the pantry for food, and played with the dogs for a short while.  Being an animal lover, it is so hard to be away from those silly dogs.  As much as Obi barks and Trixie like to throw up on my bed, I do miss scratching their bellies and taking them on walks.  I didn't want to go back to school so early, but knew I had to because I had school work to do.  It took me a lot longer to get back to school because I decided to take every other exit on US 1 just so I could drive the country roads with my windows rolled down and Dixie Chicks playing.  Lame, I know, but sometimes you just miss that smell of farmers spreading their chicken manure or freshly turned soil.  There is just something about it that makes any country person happy....

All in all, I love this time of year and look forward to going home a bit more frequently, especially since Pittsboro Feed is going to be a hopping place this spring and the plain fact that I just miss home. As a good friend of mine always said

"Whenever you have the opportunity, go home and spend time with your family 
because they are not always going to be there."

P.S. Aren't they just cute :)

February 22, 2011

It's that time....for National FFA Week!

So, I absolutely love, Love, LOVE National FFA Week...the one issue I have with National FFA Week is that NC State's spring break always tends to fall right around that time.  In other words, that means that all NC State students have loads and loads of work to be done, exams to take, and group projects to work on while all of the high school students get to enjoy their time dressing up as cows, eating BBQ lunches, and having a great time learning and promoting agriculture.
 That is the one thing I loved about FFA Week...it made those that usually don't feel important, feel like they were on top of the world.  It was so much fun to wear official dress to school and to promote agriculture among the members, school, and community through fun activities. Students all across the nation are celebrating this week of wonderfulness (if that is even a word) in so many different ways.  State and National Officers are conducting leadership workshops for students and are learning about chapters in rural and urban areas.  It is amazing how so many people come together to focus on one common goal: student success and agriculture!

So, as a college student, I miss this week....I miss it A LOT! My room is filled with FFA pictures of people that I love dearly.  There is just something about being part of a student led organization that makes a difference in the lives of people, schools, and communities.  It is something that has taken me farther than I ever thought I could happen.  The best part about this organization is that it is based on agricultural family values.  Students care for each other, for adults, and for the world around them. Many students are no longer farming, but are part of something so much bigger.  Students are becoming agriculture educators and extension agents, biologists, political leaders, animal scientists, veterinarians, geneticists, bio-technologists, sales agents, they are helping to grow and promote our food  industry...so how can you not help but love us?

We Feed You!

So, next time you see someone in agriculture....thank them for what they do.  They are making a difference in your life each and everyday!  If you don't believe me, just watch this short video...

 And....if you are interested in learning more about the National FFA Organization and the amazing people in it, check out the website.  www.ffa.org

So, back I go to being the studious college student, but before I do....
        1. Thank someone in agriculture today
2. Put a smile on your face :)

February 20, 2011

latest obsession

Yep, I am supposed to be doing my homework...You know that feeling; there are 12 days until spring break, you have a load of stuff to do, but you simply just don't want to do it.  That is EXACTLY how I feel right now.  My list of stuff is unending... chapter FFA officer handbook, lots of reading to catch up on, study guides to fill out, programs to prepare for, tests to study for, and I simply just don't feel like doing it!

I am excited for spring break...I am leaving for Indianapolis in 12 days and I cannot wait.  In the middle of that week I may take some time to head up to the even more frozen tundra of Michigan to visit with some friends and family.  My parents and sister are up there right now celebrating my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary...sadly enough, I have to work.  Go figure.

There is just something about that though...something about being married for 50 years that makes me smile.  How can it not? I love "love"; it's just that simple.  I love reading love stories, I love seeing people getting married, and I love celebrating these amazing milestones in life; hence, begins my latest obsession. 
I never thought I would be one of these people.  I always thought Hallmark greeting cards were overpriced and their products were too gifty for me (especially since I don't like stuff/material objects), but ever since I have been in a long distance relationship, I have begun to LOVE this store.  Every Friday after classes, I take my weekly trip to the local Hallmark and spend at least  1/2 of an hour perusing their cards section and the other gifty things they have to offer.  I pick out one, two, or three cards to send to my significant other and friends, swipe my Hallmark Crown Rewards Card, and go to find a nice quiet place to being writing.  After that, it is off to the Method Rd. post office where the postal women know me by name and ask how I am doing. It is such a great feeling to know that I may have the potential to make someone's day.

During my last visit to Hallmark, it made me wonder a little more about the history of the company...and it is fascinating.  It all began in 1910 when Joyce Clyde Hall stepped off a train in Kansas City, Missouri with nothing but two shoe-boxes of postcards under his arm.  He had very little money, not even enough to get a carriage ride, but he had an entrepreneurial spirit and the determination of a pioneer.  He joined his brother in business and began Hall's Brothers Greeting Cards.  In 1917, the brothers began to innovate and invented the modern gift wrap.  J.C. Hall continued with greeting cards; he was intrigued by the word "hallmark" that goldsmiths used as a mark of quality.  From that point on, they began using Hallmark on the back of every card and was the first greeting card company to advertise nationally. In 1932, they signed their first licensing agreement with Walt Disney...look where that has taken them today!  During that year, they also invented what is called "Eye-vision" greeting card displays. "Eye-vision" is took the cards out of drawers and put them on display racks where people could easily read and access them. All across the nation, greeting cards are displayed like this...all thanks to Hallmark! A lot has happened since the beginning of this company, but as Hallmark says....

   "We've come a long way from a man with empty pockets, two shoeboxes of postcards, and a dream. But most importantly, we've held onto the enduring beliefs and values that fill the basic human need to
connect with others." 

 And here I am...connecting with the readers of this blog, hoping to conjure some sort of thought in your mind today. Being Lutheran, we celebrate the season of Lent and most people tend to "give up" something, but this year, rather than "giving up" something, I am going to give something.  

Each day, it is my goal to send at least one card to someone special in my life.   

Everyone knows that feeling...the feeling of opening the mailbox and receiving something that is not junk mail or a bill, but something that is handwritten and full of love.  The wonderful mother of the love of my life sends me cards quite frequently and the women at Jordan Lutheran Church send care packages with cookies and cards...I never realized the impact that it made in my life until just the other day. 

So, today, think about what you can do to make a difference in someone's life.

February 19, 2011

this is the first day of the rest of your life.

Life. It has been different these past few months, that's for sure.  The past few years of my life have been completely surrounded by the National FFA Organization....I did nothing but breathe and live the FFA each and every day.  In October, I ran for National FFA Office, was not elected, and now am in this position of...what do I do; not so much with my life, but with my time?  I am doing pretty well keeping it occupied with this thing called academics and being a resident advisor, but each and every day I thirst for something to keep me sane.  I need something that I can call my own again.  I need something to give me the energy to make it through the day. I need something that gives me lasting friendships. I need something that will fulfill the happiness that once was in my heart. 

Even though I am still feeling the emptiness of the FFA within my heart and the search for something new is an everyday task, I have finally found something that I can really see myself enjoying for the rest of my life.  I love being in agriculture education, especially now that I am learning more and more new things about the animal industry,but I have fallen in love with figuring out people and why they do the things they do. After much prayer, God has lead me to the possibility of school counseling, in other words, working as a guidance counselor in a elementary, middle, or high school. I love the idea of this career, but I also know that my heart is still in agriculture and will always be.  I love the family atmosphere that agriculture creates, and the thought of not being part of the agriculture education family scares me.  I am so comfortable there; my friends are there and the FFA; those are the only things that I have known since I moved to North Carolina. It is so hard to step out of our comfort zones sometimes....

Amidst all of this contemplation in my mind and change in my life, I have found someone that makes me feel so much better about the life I am living now...No matter how good or how badly the day ends, he takes the time to listen, question, and understand me each and every day. I look at him, hear his voice, and know that he is the one that makes my life complete... he gives me hope to make it to the next day. Sometimes, fairy tales do come true.  I know mine has.

Alive again...that is what I desire...but until that point

love will hold us together